From the monthly archives:

May 2010

Lighten Up

by lulujane on May 24, 2010

ask your heartxMany times during my lifetime I have attempted to sit still, quiet my bouncing energy inside, clear my mind, and meditate… without success.  My mind races.  My body yearns to move.  I felt that I failed at meditation, and saw this as a personal flaw, putting it down to impatience and lack of mind control.  I was self critical.

Bindings on some of my personal library books reveal writings of the Dalai Lama that I have not read.  I found the most recent one, entitled ‘An Open Heart’ easier to read.  Although I only read little bits at a time, I rejoiced yesterday when I discovered that there are two types of meditation in the Buddist practice.  “One, analytical meditation, is the means by which we familiarize ourselves with new ideas and mental attitudes. The other, settled meditation focuses the mind on a chosen object.”

Mine, is an analytical mind.  Problems or difficulties are examined – like holding a crystal ball in the palm of my hand, elevated where I can see it in the light, seeking to see what the light reveals.  Examining things from many perspectives, and always, always, striving to find a positive side of things.

My perspective is that meditation is a practice to help us understand things at a deeper level, be it compassion, anger, forgiveness, etc., or a problem that I, a friend or family member might be wrestling with.  I don’t have to do that while I am sitting still. Now that I have a name for my type of meditation, analytical, I see my type of self examination, problem solving, or searching for understanding as quite adequate.  More than adequate really.  I am quite good at this, as I respond to the nudges and promptings of my higher self in conversation and contemplation.

My energy percolates and resists the sitting still.  I can force myself to sit still, but it is not a natural state for me.  My sign off in emails is often ‘keep smiling and keep moving’.

So, as I let go of self-judgment and criticism around my personal problem solving techniques, which I now understand to be my style of meditation, the lesson in this for me today is self-acceptance.

Thanks to the Dalai Lama I feel lighter, in more ways than one.

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