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Weight watching

by lulujane on January 8, 2011

Mom Bball4x6smA few decades have passed since then, but I am probably within five pounds of what I weighed when I was eighteen years old.  I must be disappointingly honest about that though.  At the time I was physically active in a variety of sports and the pounds were measured in solid muscle.  That isn’t the case today.

Over the years I have belonged to almost every health club in our city for varying lengths of time and only recently decided to retire, not graduate from them. I have dieted and exercised but it wasn’t influenced by a passion for what I was doing.  The inner voices, the self talk could be persistent and thunderingly loud when I compared myself to others, prompting me to action.  I didn’t join a health club or deprive myself from things I liked because I wanted to, but because I was feeling told to by… by who … myself, media, society who measure these things.

I have watched other people around me doing the same thing. They torture themselves for long periods of time nibbling only on carrot sticks and celery for weeks and months to achieve a weight goal.  And when I see them six months, one year or two years later they are back to where they were in the first place.  So, while I have been enjoying myself with relaxed habits I am where I was then, but without the deprivation and the hard work.

In some instances my weight will surpass my norm and I don’t feel comfortable in my body or my clothes don’t fit. Usually it’s both. This is when I am reluctantly called to action and for a time I can do this.  I can be disciplined and focused and achieve results when I really want to.


I observe women with slender frames and know how good it is when my body feels like theirs look, and maybe it is to justify my ambivalence but I believe that my body is comfortable at a certain weight and unless inhibited by a strict exercise and diet regime, it will find its way back to this as a balance point. Nutritionists, doctors and fitness gurus will likely argue this point, and the scale and BFI (body fat index) might squeal against me, but this is where my observations have brought me.  I have given my self critic the day off and decided to like myself exactly as I am at any given time.

When I connect with other people, i.e. family/friends, I don’t like them any less because they don’t fit the paramaters of a scale…. why should I love myself less if I don’t fit them either?

My enemy is boredom.  When I am by myself and bored I reach for something that will give me comfort.  I like salty stuff like potato chips and popcorn and I salivate when I think of these snacks.  And when I am bored and/or alone, one thing after another thing, after another thing will find its way into my mouth.  This is how and when my weight gain yummily creeps up on me. I keep a watchful eye on myself somewhat by eliminating ice cream, cookies, chips or other snacks as staple foods in my home.  If someone is coming to visit I sure hope they call ahead so I can rush to the store and pick up the goodies for them.

I’m laughing at myself now. I’m remembering that a couple of years ago I went to Overeaters Anonymous for a few weeks …. until I had my aha moment that weight control is determined by two things – food choices and portion size.  Duhh!

Now if there was a diet or nutritional advice for boredom – that would be a beautiful thing.


Happy Face

by lulujane on February 3, 2009

dscn1864xLooking toward me
Deep set
Tracing lines
On tanned
Smiling face

As she looked toward me
Shifting her view
From shuffleboard court
I smiled back
“You look happy”
I offered.
“I am” she countered
“Win or lose”

An afterthought added
“And I’m 84 years old”

Life is good I thought
I would like to have
known her more.


I learned two new things today

by lulujane on August 1, 2008

A beautiful day for a bike ride, leaving early before the heat of the day makes me doubt if this is a wise thing to do. I tucked some cash into my back pack just in case I might hit a good yard sale or need to make a phone call.

Four or five miles into my ride as I approached an area near the Windsor Yacht Club I was surprised when the chain fell off my relatively new bike. My first thought was a lazy one – to give up and call Joyce & Len (sister and brother-in-law) to come and get me. Second thought was to walk the bike back to Lauzon Road, a distance of about a mile, where there is a bicycle shop.

Nice summer day. Warm. Who wants to wear socks and running shoes? Not me. Flip flop sandals are much more easy breezy, cool. Unless you have to walk a good distance in them. Notice I said “have to”as opposed to “want to”. On this lovely first day of August day, I had no choice.

I observed as the bike man quickly put the chain back on track. Your fee? “Nothing”. He accepted my $5.00 handoff and gratitude. I had a fleeting thought that I should drive straight home and quickly rebounded to my original plan of taking a fairly good distance ride to visit my friend Gail in Tecumseh. Never give up.

As I recounted my tale to Gail she offered a pair of latex gloves to protect my hands from grease, just in case it happened again. And almost like the glove theory was being tested, on my way home I lost it again – the grip of the chain on the sprocket that is. I propped up the bike stand and went to work. I was tentative, not confident that I could pull this off, but gratefully it went on with relative ease. As I knelt at the bike under a shady tree along busy Lauzon Parkway I noticed a vehicle pass me, pull over to the curb lane and pause. As the repair had been completed, I slowly approached the vehicle to give my thanks and received some advice. Next time use a stick to put the chain back on so I don’t get my hands dirty – and have someone adjust the wheel to a more efficient position.

My adventure today taught me two things – how to fix a slipped chain on a bike, and when cycling always wear sensible shoes… just in case.

Some of the blessings of my day were the almost free bike repair guy, a considerate driver who stopped to help me, the gift of some latex gloves from a friend, and a Granny Smith apple in the middle of the road around the corner from Gail’s house, just when I needed a bit of shoring up. All it needed was a bit of shining up on the pantleg of my new Bermuda shorts.

I am posting a photo with this post – no comments please about headgear and bare feet. This was taken 5 minutes after I received the bike as a gift, touring around my driveway/parking lot.

Linda Iler